Learning about Microaggressions
The world is full of opinions, views, feelings, attitudes, beliefs and judgment. Many become messages that appear innocent enough on the surface but contain demeaning communications to its recipients. Whether it is intentional or unintentional microaggressions cut across all social identities which includes race, ethnicity, cultures, age, disability and many more.
Today everyday anyone can observe or experience forms of microaggression.
On the July 4th I took my daughters to Six Flags amusement park. There were many children from a variety of summer camps also there. While on line for a ride a young boy who is white little boy who said to a little black girl, " It's almost time for lunch and I don't think we have fried chicken for you guys." The little girl remarked " And us guys like watermelon too, did they pack that." I was shocked that children so young can pass comments like that to one another and not bat an eye!
While watching the Golden Girls (one of my favorite shows) Rose said to Sophia "I don't understand." Sophia responded "You should have that printed on a T-Shirt." Poor Rose she only speaks out of innocence but since the others have no patience with her at times the remarks that are intended to be funny in reality are insulting.
My daughters left for a overnight trip to Pennsylvania. I was sharing with a friend that I felt sad at the fact that I didn't have to leave the night light on in the kitchen for the girls. I was told "You have to get use to this. You know that the little birds eventually have to leave the nest." Not only did this make me feel worse but my feelings were just tossed aside and I felt like I was being reprimanded for missing my children.
This activity was an educational experience in many ways. It taught me that there is another word for bias comments and that we are not immune to it. These word can come from children, the media and even people you love and feel close to. It provided a deeper understanding how WORDS CAN HURT in so many ways.
When people realize that hurtful comments whether it be subtle or blatant it just demonstrates the lack of knowledge and ignorance of others. Therefore, prejudice, discrimination and stereotyping groups or individuals not only hurt the recipient it can also hurt the perpetrator too. YOUR SLIP IS SHOWING, YOUR IGNORANCE IS SHOWING.
Many people have tried to change these perceptions. Some succeed others are still trying, but I feel no one has failed.
What is Culture?
I asked my friend Sawsan what her definition of culture was. Sawsan and I work at the same preschool. She grew up in Egypt. Suzy said that culture is a set of beliefs one learns from their family. Culture involves food, clothing, art, language and religion. She shared that she sees diversity in our school community. She explained that our school is diverse because not only of the variety of families that enroll their children, but in their way of raising children. Some of the children are not allowed to look at an adult in the eye when they greet them because it is considered disrespectful for some families, while others demand that children show the courtesy of a greeting.
I asked my daughter Karina what does she think of when she hears the word culture. She looked at me and said "Isn't culture stuff you learn from your family?" I asked her what kind of stuff. "Stuff like certain foods you eat that are different from other people. Like music. We listen to Spanish music like salsa and merengue and we dance to it. We also dance cumbias when we go with daddy because of his Colombian culture." I asked her if she thinks that culture could be the difference in the way that I grew up and her. She smiled and said. " Our clothing styles are different!" I asked Karina what does diversity mean? She responded "That's when various cultures are living in one area." Like here in Paterson, we have Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, Dominicans, Colombian, Arabic families and now I see Bangladesh community begin to grow."
My mother and grandmother shared that they think culture is everything that is taught within the families. Their beliefs, opinions and definitely traditions. My family is very strong in preserving traditions like music, songs, cooking especially. We also have a strong connection within our religion which is Catholicism but we also have the background of Santeria. The practice of Santería dates to the fifteenth century when its earliest practitioners - members of the Yoruba people of West Africa - were brought to Puerto Rico as slaves. Not allowed to practice their traditional religion, the Santería priests, called Santeros, hid their rituals under the guise of Roman Catholic figures.
Within all the responses I do notice a consensus that culture involves belief system of the family. The family is the core to culture. It involves a certain way of life. How they eat, what they eat, what they believe in, how they incorporate their beliefs and fit in. I did notice that they all view culture as the full range of a learned human behavior. Culture shapes everyone both as individuals and as members of society.
Through the readings and responses I noticed that one essential feature of culture is that it is learned and transmitted from one generation to the next.
Diversity extends far beyond race and culture to include a number of dimensions of differences. Valuing diversity recognizes differences between people and acknowledges that these differences are a valued asset.
My Family Culture
Picking only three things to take with me in the event of a national emergency would be very difficult to do. I am a pack rat by nature and choosing would drive me nuts. But, I would have to choose my novenas, my iphone, my mommy memory box that my girls made when they were very little girls.
A novena is a vocal prayer, or series of vocal prayers, that you commit to praying over an extended period of time. These prayers are usually linked to a specific devotion (for instance, devotion to a particular saint). I am devoted to the Little Flower Saint Therese. I have always believed that this Saint has shown me the way every time I went astray. I told my priest once that I am the little black sheep in our Fathers herd. My family we all have a patron saint, My mother is Saint Barbara, My grandmother is Saint Clara and I was given Saint Therese.
I was such a typical teenager on the telephone at all times, and now with my iphone I am a bit the same. I consider the iphone my connection for everything. In there I have my pictures, my games, my lists, my music, my magazines, my recipes, and my medical journal.
This box my daughters made for me as a birthday gift 14 years ago. I kept it full of their pictures, drawings, awards, old birthday and Christmas and mother's day cards,and dried flowers. I hold this old box dear to me because it was something they sat together and decided that this would be the best gift they could give me. I was divorced from their father and we were alone for a long time. I LOVE this box and that is all I can say about that.
Trying to choose one out of the three made me think long and hard. My novenas are a part of me since I was a little girl. My faith has taken me through the roughest of times and the joyous of times. These novenas are very much a part of me inside and out. The iphone is something that in time I know that technology will find its way back into my life. My daughters memory box that they created with so much love is something that I can never get rid of. Those adorable drawings and writings, well.... they do not write or draw like than anymore. I can't let that go no matter what.
I know that my family is something that is real and important for me. The tiny details that my children show me and has shown me since they were very little has made me complete. I simply adore those three little people. I learned that all families have certain things that makes them unique, special and important within themselves. I learned that culture and diversity are the pieces of a puzzle that makes up a family. Each piece fits perfectly but not shaped perfectly.
