My Supports

 If looking forward scares you and looking back hurts you, then look beside you. I will always be there, holding your hand the whole way.
                                                                                                                                 ~ Ash Sweeny

Everyone goes through many challenges in life. I have shared in my blog the wonderful support my mother had given me all through my life. She is definitely my life line. The long running joke within the family is the umbilical cord is still attached. Joking aside, I don't think I would be were I am if it wasn't for her. My mother always believed in me and was always on my side in all  decisions I made. All through elementary school she always made sure to go to meetings, christmas shows, book fairs. When I said I wanted to be a pianist, she went and got me a piano. When that phase ended, I said I wanted to be a doctor, I got every doctor kit imaginable, then I wanted to be a teacher, I got a chalkboard and a small desk placed in my room.  My mother was there with me when I divorced my first husband and helped me with my daughters. They were 8 and 5. Once I made the decision to go back to school my mother jumped at the chance and helped me financially. One night I went to bed and woke up the next day in an ambulance. My life took another turn when the doctor diagnosed me with epilepsy. I suffer gran mal siezures in my sleep and wake up from then not recognizing anyone or where I am. The last one I suffered a heart attack. I gave up. I became afraid and made the decision to quit. After my tantrum, my mother took out the photo album pointing to the pictures of my 8th grade, high school, and college graduation. "After you feel better, look back with a sensible mind and then make a decision." After taking some time off to get adjusted to the medication I went back to school.

Being back in school, I do have moments when I feel defeated and overwhelmed, and yes I have had epileptic episodes, but I know I can turn to my mother when I need help. I know many have beautiful stories about their parents and the support system that they built together,  My mother is mine.  What would I do if I didn't have her support? Well, I know that I wouldn't be in school. I know that having epilepsy would take its toll on me and I don't think I could be the mother I am to my daughters without having my mother as an example.